Thursday, October 7, 2010
Tylenol PM doesn't help...this has truly been the longest week of my life. I pray to God to remove me dreams each night but they are still coming. I don't blame God for that at all, I'd rather have a working brain than a non-working one....well...sometimes. Most of the time I wish I could shut off my brain or at least put it on cruise control to get through my classes. I usually have a few hours in the day that I call my "good hours" which consist of me being able to talk about things and usually I am able to eat. This is from 11-2ish. I've found that this is consistent too....self-fulfilling prophecy? If I think I'll be ok at 11 then I will be? I don't know. There's a lot of thoughts running through my head and I'm trying not to let the devil have control. Mornings are usually the most difficult for me which is weird because that's when I have my devotions...It gets a little better when I'm at school too because my mind is very distracted, but driving. man, driving is the worst. I can't listen to music and the silence is just wretched. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be bringing everyone down (all 17 that follow this blog), but It's good for me to write this all down. I don't know why but it just helps. Right now, I don't really question things that help. I want to make it a point though that during this time I am trying my best to seek God and ask what He wants to reveal to me and of me throughout all of this. I ask Him to show me how I'm supposed to feel and if my feelings are ok. This has been a very difficult week but I am more than grateful that I don't have to go through this alone. The support from my family has been incredible, but God has been loving on me in so many ways too. I hope that this week speeds up though.